Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice to meet you" to a person you would like to poison. Politeness here is not just etiquette, but a weapon, a shield, and a diplomatic passport. How a diplomat pronounces "we are concerned" depends on whether a war will start or not. In this world, a smile can mean a threat, and a handshake can mean sanctions. We analyze how politeness works in diplomacy, using examples of real protocols and scandals. Diplomatic protocol: rituals behind which there is emptiness. In diplomacy, politeness is strictly regulated. There is the Vienna Convention of 1961, there are national protocols: how to greet, who should extend a hand first, in what order to seat guests. A violation can be considered an insult. For example, if a ambassador is invited to a reception later than other heads of diplomatic missions, it is a demonstrative lowering of status. These rituals are a framework that allows enemies to sit at the same table. But behind the formal politeness there is often nothing but cold calculation. Politeness as an euphemism for threats. In diplomatic language, it is customary to soften formulations. Instead of "we declare war," "we take retaliatory measures." Instead of "you are lying," "allow us to doubt the veracity of the provided data." Instead of "stop the bombings," "we express deep concern about the humanitarian situation." Diplomatic politeness allows to preserve face, even when the parties are on the brink of conflict. But for those who know how to read between the lines, such politeness is transparent. "We hope for a constructive dialogue" often means "surrender." Typical diplomatic clichés and their decoding. "We strongly condemn" — we are furious but can do nothing. "We express concern" — we don't care but have to say something. "We call on the parties to show restraint" — we don't want to fight for you. "We note positive developments" — progress is minimal but we have to report. "The exchange of opinions has taken place in a construc ... Read more